Children Today a mother was accused of killing her four children in Elkhart, Indiana. There was apparently some custody battles going on, but these four kids, ages 8, 6, 4, and 2, didn't deserve to be asphyxiated by their own mother.

Whenever I see a story like this, it hurts me very deeply - for I never had any children. Not for lack of trying, mind you - but by the time I was divorced, I was childless, and would remain so.

I wanted one or two kids. I wasn't one of those people that wanted lots and lots, but one or two to guide through life woul d have been amazing. With the divorce, though, it was probably a blessing not to have kids.

But each time I hear about a person who was blessed in a way that I wasn't, I used to have this 'discussion' with God. "OK, you gave her 4 kids. You gave me none. What up with that?" The answer in my heart is that it was for the best for some reason I will never know on this earth.

It's possible I would have been a terrible mom, I don't and won't ever know. I suppose I could have been artificially inseminated, but for me, I wanted to raise a kid with a spouse, not alone. Many folks do that successfully - I didn't count myself in that category.

But, I highly doubt I would have killed my kids. It takes some really bad stuff in life for that to happen. Someday the full 'discussion' will occur, maybe. I might find out the big answer to my life's question then.

Until then, I guess we can only pray for those kids, those parents, and all of us - because I believe we all suffer when others are hurt. Maybe someday, we will find ways to have parents get help before this happens. Or, possibly, parents will treat each other with enough respect to not even entertain these thoughts. Or people will get health care in time to avoid problems caused by some forms of mental illness including depression, psychosis, post-partum or otherwise.

It's just that today, someday seems a long way off.  ¶ 10:31 PM